Saturday, February 6, 2010

Quest


Well, Chris said this was going to be a repository for family memories, and I spend about 6 hours each Mon/Fri on airplanes so I have time to write.

Over the course of many years I have had a personal Quest. I have wanted to step foot in every state in the nation. My parents would take us kids to visit an old Army buddy of my Dad's and we got to see Texas, Illinois, Ohio. I think that's where I got the bug. Also there was the memorable "trip out West" Iowa, Nebraska, Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, and Wyoming. Then when I was asked to serve in the US Army I got to see such notable states as South Carolina, New Jersey, New York, California, Washington, and Oregon. The Army also showed me the State of FEAR!!

My personal Quest took on another dimension when Karen and I started our joint Quest or T.I.E.S., (Together In Each State). Along with this Quest came rules....on my Quest I just had to spend some time in the start. Go to the bathroom, and leave a little of myself. With T.I.E.S. the visit to the state had to have a true meaning, and a minimum one night stay. As our trophy we would search for a lapel type pin from the state and put the pins in a folder marking the city we stayed in and the date.

We have had some real adventures getting states. After Dan's wedding we went to Utah, Lin and Tom were there. We made a "Death and Destruction" weekend trip to Dallas, and Oklahoma City to see the Kennedy assassination site, and the Federal building. On a rainy weekend in NC we decided to go to Connecticut. Carolyn was a little surprised when she called and we told her we went to Connecticut for dinner. We did a Halloween weekend walking the graveyards in Salem, MA and saw the House of Seven Gables. We got Massachusetts, and Rhode Island.

Our Southern weekend trips took us to FL, SC, GA, AL, MS, LA, TN, and many civil War sites. Trips to Madison offered an opportunity to get an unusual state....Illinois. We lived in WI for 40 years but never spent a night together in Illinois. The people that have been with us on our Quest the most, although they didn't know it, are Lin and Tom. We have been together in NE, IN, WI, TN, NC, NV, UT, and VA.

To date my personal Quest has only a few states left, Kansas west of the Mississippi and Maine, Vermont, and New Hampshire East. Alaska and Hawaii off shore.

T.I.E.S. has 38 states. We lack the elusive Alaska, and Hawaii. West of the Big Miss. are NM, CO, KS, ND, OR, WA, and ID. East of Ole Man River, ME, NH, and VT.

When, and if, we ever retire we have a lot of booked frequent flyer miles to burn for our Quest. I guess to be Politically Correct with regards to our age we should call it a "Bucket List", but Quest sounds so much more Don Quixote of us.

So when people ask "Would you like to see Paris?", I usually answer "Hell, I haven't seen Kansas yet!"


Get you list started.

Why Go To Europe?


My world is a little off kilter this morning, and not because I slept wrong. My dad is going to North Dakota, population 650,000, which probably includes wild animals. The population of Milwaukee, just for reference, is 950,000.

Why is this a big deal? Does Carolyn just need more coffee?

Since I was young enough to sit up straight, Dad put a map in my hands. An atlas enjoyed a revered spot on our coffee table, and when we were watching TV and a city came up that drew curiosity, the atlas came out. Guess what? I have one on my coffee table too. On every family vacation (even the one I was a pain in the ass on), the maps were a big part of the trip.

Back to North Dakota. How often did we hear, "Why go to Europe? I haven't been to North Dakota." Dad's quest to "leave a little of himself" in each of the 48 continental states is almost complete. Actually, there are two quests going on, one for Dad and for Mom AND Dad. If I am not mistaken, Dad's stay in North Dakota trims the final state count to 4 or 5 (I think) for him. The fact that I think I know that is scary, but cool.

The events of September 11th thwarted the last opportunity to go to North Dakota. Chris and I were headed to NY that weekend to visit Dan, and Mom and Dad to North Dakota to "cross it off the list." Instead, the four of us went to Asheville and worried about Dan and mourned with the rest of the country.

For 37 years, North Dakota was the elusive state. I even tried to plan trips to North Dakota. At least I could say ONE of us made it there in our lifetime.

So now it is, "Why go to Europe? I haven't been to Kansas." For as much as you have traveled Dad, how could you have missed Kansas (population 2.8 million, by the way)? It is right in the middle.

Keep in mind when planning your trip to Topeka that in Kansas, they actually have a state law that states that "rabbits may not be shot from motorboats." Just sayin'.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Depends are your friend, embrace them.





The patriarch of our family is turning 63 today. Holy crapatoa batman! He doesn't have a going problem, he has a growing problem. Sorry, couldn't resist. So, on this day, let's recollect about John Arthur (at least that's what mom called him when he did the first thing on the list below).

1. His "I don't care where I am" flatulence
2. Threadbare white T-shirts from 1984 that allow you to see his circulatory system.
3. Extended time in the "office" resulting in severe bathroom polio.
4. Wearing head phones that were obviously borrowed from an air traffic controller.
5. Converting first aid boxes into a distillery.
6. The incident with the gall bladder.
7. Clipping gophers out of the rock wall.
8. The moustache
9. Coming to the James house (before they lived there) to gather me after I broke all the windows.
10. Blaming me for the attempted garage fire. Damn you Dan.
11. The bear hug after graduation, marriage, and birth of my children.
12. Rocking out in a Canadian tuxedo (jean pants, jean shirt)
13. Wanting to keep his gall bladder as a coin purse.
14. Singing with Mom on the old piano

This is a start, and is intended to keep going. Especially on a Friday.

Anywho, Happy Birthday Dad. 63 great years.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Work/Life Balance


I promise to contribute - I really do. I love this concept, and thank Chris for putting it together. My biggest problem is that at some point over the past 3 years my life changed from having a bullshit job that demanded nothing from me to having a crazy job that I can never get on top of. Now, don't get me wrong, I'll take the craziness - I always thrive in that type of environment, but I'm making the same amount of money! That just doesn't make sense. The point of this little rambling is that I always seem to run out of time to post, or email, or anything really...

Made me think a bit...I understand that my mission in life is to help shitty little spa owners get a decent piece of software and appease a maniacal CEO that eats babies and puppies for breakfast - I get that, but damn I need a hobby. I'm not looking to make my life more 'fulfilling' or some bullshit like that. I mean, I'm plenty fulfilled. I'm just now on a personal quest for a better hobby.

I tried poker. Now this is insanely difficult for me to admit, but it's the truth - I'm just not that good. I tried bike riding, and I bought a heavy mountain bike because I was drunk on a Sunday with Jav and he convinced me somehow that we would, like Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, conquer the rugged mountains of Brooklyn together. Problem is I live in a 3rd floor walk-up and I've successfully carried that bike up and down the steps 3 times in 3 years. Yup, once a year. I tried running, as we all know. I liked running, but come on - it's running. Very few things, not even biking, compare with the boredom associated with running.

So I'm on a quest to find a new hobby. I'd prefer if it's something that doesn't piss off Gill, so recreational drug use and philandering are out. I'm not an extreme sportsman because I value my limbs. I don't need to drink more, so it's not wine or beer or some other group I join that gives me a ridiculous excuse to consume absurd amounts of alcohol.

Spelunking? Geo-treasure hunting? Basket weaving? Yoga?

I have no idea, but I'm wide open to suggestion (comments!!) and promise, through this wonderful new medium of ours, to keep you all updated on my quest.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Oops, I crapped my pants (in the NFC Championship game)


Favre

I know I will come back to admiration for Brent. It will take time though. I am still his jilted lover. He divorced me after 17 years of devotion and slept around a bit (Jets) before hopping into bed with my biggest enemy. I then spent the next year watching them have sex every Sunday, and they were enjoying it.

Watching him crap the bed on the main stage put his influence and accomplishments into perspective. As fans, we tend to be defensive backs, we only remember the good plays. Favre failed a lot. He failed in big moments, a lot. Embarassing my parents as his 6th INT was returned by the Rams had faded. Paying $400 for a NFC Championship ticket, suffering through the 2nd coldest game on record, and watching as Favre threw away an incredibly great season had even faded. Is this what other fans had seen in Favre all along? Were we so grateful for our Super Bowl, that we blindly watched him screw up often.

I'm sure the answer lies in the middle. He was good, even great, but he is no Manning, Montana, Elway or Brady. He provided some of the great memories of my life, but now those are fading.

The future is Aaron Rodgers. He is good, maybe great. I have no doubt that we will be in the Super Bowl in the next 5 years, and I like our chance if we are. Favre is a fading memory.

Monday, February 1, 2010

In response to "LP's our parents subjected us to"


You must remember Mom and I are Son and Daughter of Depression Era
parents that lived through WW II. While hoping for a better future and surviving long
separations from loved ones, they listened to the radio and music, they didn't
have one iPod, PS2, Wii, or even a TV to help them escape and cope with reality.
This time in our nations history gave us some pretty meaningful songs. It was the
music of that time that our parents played, and we played to you, but we also
expanded the library with additional "Songs to Dream By".


The clue is in the Song name, and Lyrics.
With music you can dream of far away places, "Rocky Mountain High",
"Shanghai Breezes", "Bali Hai".
You could travel anywhere, "Leaving on a Jet plane", "Take me home country
Roads", or just march with "Seventy Six Trombones". You could go to "Oklahoma",
or see "The Heather on the Hills". Wander "Ole Man River", or
"Climb every Mountain". You could say "Hello Dolly", or visit "Camelot".
You could simply stay on your street and be "Signin in the Rain", or be smiling
because "Sunshine on my shoulder makes me happy".

Now a word about Lyrics…..or is that redundant????

When you hear Jim Croce sing "If I could save time in a Bottle", or "I'll have to say
I love you in a song" or maybe the Mills Bros. asking you to wait "Till Then" because
"Never the less I'm in Love with You". You can feel the depth of meaning that went
into the writing of those songs. Even Air Supply, singing "Making Love out of
nothing at All" or "Lost in Love", ( which was easy for those sweethearts), told
a smooth story. Lyrics are poems set to music!!!!!

To say over the years I've seen a decline in the quality of Lyrics, would be an
understatement.

So to close my ramblings, I'm a happy parent that knows my children "Have a
Song in their Heart"

And let's face it….how can you compare:

The shadows fall and
Spread their mystic charms
In the hush of night
While you're in my arms
I feel your lips
So warm and tender
My one and only Love


With:

Yo Bitch, you're so fine
I want you in my bed
You know it's time


I CAN'T

I close this post sitting in my Favorite Room with
"My hat turned sideways", and my
"Pants on the Ground".

Ode to Aunt Linda on the Occasion of Her Birthday




Happy Birthday to our wonderful auntie,

Funny, witty, and lives on Youth Camp--y.

She, who is but a year older than our dear pop,

We laugh and laugh at her tales and never stop.

At her house would our adventures be many,

Staying up late, singing songs by Kenny.

We played Atari, we watched Saturday Night Live,

We learned how to dance; polka and jive.

We learned how to paint wonderful landscapes,

One time, Dan locked himself in the bathroom and needed help to escape!

Pepsi, milk and orange juice was our drink of choice,

It made us giddy and hyper, bouncing off the ceiling joist.

We made up our own games, let our imagination soar,

How could we ever forget games like Wild Boar?

As much as we played, we hope we weren’t a pest,

You are great, Aunt Linda, you are the best!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

I'm always the smartest, best looking dude at the bar.....when intoxicated.


So, here are the answers. I incorrectly guessed "Nice hair, pretty boy". I also got the middle school wrong. Dan and Charlie were spot on with only one mistake. They guessed Houlihan for the Police Academy woman, instead of Callahan. Frank Burns was offended.

1. Phoenix Foundation
2. Callahan - Leslie Easterbrook
3. Boof
4. Wings
5. The Maxx
6. Warren G Harding
7. Nova Labratories
8. Van Buren Boys
9. Roger McDowell
10. Ray Kinsella
11. "Nice Game, pretty boy"
12. "basically $37.50 for a 3 Musketeers."
13. Hanover, Indiana (4hrs and 20mins from the setting of Christmas Story (Hammond, IN)
14. "Video killed the radio star" by the Buggles
15. Robin Yount fields and throws across the diamond to Cecil Cooper. Brewers beat the Angels!!!!!

Hope everyone is enjoying the random thought strings on this blog, and I hope to see continued usage. Hope everyone has a great Sunday.